Monday, June 20, 2011

Penis Colada

My husband and I have been making good progress with penetration.  We try to do it at least 4 times per week, but often more.  Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it burns, and sometimes it's no problem.  Now, I haven't felt anything that's actually pleasurable; it still just feels like there's a foreign object inside my vagina, but I have hope that the pleasure will come eventually.

Here is our updated routine:
Step One: take Valium 30 minutes or more before penetration (to relax both mind and muscles).
Step Two: heat pelvic area for at least 15 minutes before (using hot bath or heating pad).
Step Three: apply lidocaine to sensitive spots inside vagina.
Step Four: Husband wears glove, covers finger in coconut oil and does some pelvic clock stretching with his finger.  He holds down on muscles that are sensitive and we try to loosen up the muscles.
Step Five: I put in my biggest dildo for a few minutes just to prepare my vagina for the penis (also covered in coconut oil).
Step Six: Penis in vagina!  More oil of course.  We have found two positions that usually work, although it's never consistent on which one feels better or worse than the other.  Right now we're sticking to me on top either facing him or facing away from him.  Facing him there is more of a chance of my sensitive G-spot area to be unpleasantly rubbed, but there's less of a chance that it will make my PC muscles feel too stretchy.  The opposite is true for me on top facing away from him.  In this position there is no irritation on the G-spot area, but if I'm having a tight muscle day it can be painful.  So we usually do both and pick the best one.  We stay this way for about 10 minutes either staying still while I do kegels or we do slow in-and-out that I control.

As you can see, it's still all very technical, but I guess it has to be that way for now.  I'm still trying to retrain my body and my mind to believe that sex won't hurt, and hopefully that sex is actually pleasurable.

We've been using Coconut Oil ever since my PT recommended it and I really like it.  Unlike water-based lubricants, it sticks around and you really don't have to keep reapplying.  It makes everything nice and slippery.  And every time we use it I feel like I'm at the beach because of the coconut smell!  The problem with the coconut oil is that it's an oil.  And oil does not wash out of the sheets.  We tried using two towels on top of the sheets, but it seeped through so I ended up buying a waterproof crib pad at Target that is made for babies that wet the bed.  It has little sheep on it and it's only the size of a crib, but it really works quite well.  Even though it's waterproof, it's soft and it doesn't feel or sound plasticy.  Now we use the crib pad with a towel on top and our sheets are safe.  When I think about it it makes me chuckle, but hey, whatever works.  It's worth it to be able to keep using the coconut oil without ruining our sheets.


annie said...

ever since you mentioned the coconut oil, i've been thinking of trying it, but been afraid it would ruin any and all bedding.

and now you've gone a step further and found a solution!! love you for it!

also, 4 times a week?? you are awesome!!

Husband said...

4 times a week, that is awesome, congrats are in order. Do you feel the Botox played a large roll in your recent progress?

The pleasure will come, just give it time, lots and lots of time. The clinical sex is just part of the process.

My wife is off to Dr G visit #4 tomorrow... wish us/her luck..

Esther said...

Hahaha! This post made me laugh a few times :) You and your husband are doing awesome work. It sounds like he is very supportive of you and that you have a great relationship. Cheers!

Husband said...

One other comment that may help you. My wife's PT told her that after sex she should "ice".

I know sounds like a lot of fun, put a freezing object on your hot sensitive parts, but it seems to have helped a lot with recovery time after.

Anyway here is what the PT said to do. Take a condom fill it with about 80% rubbing alcohol and 20% water (we made of the % she just said with water and alcohol.) Tie off the condom so it is like a water balloon, no big air pockets and stuff like that. We then decided to put another condom over it and tied that one off as well, just in case the first one got a leak. Then just toss it in the freezer and let it get really cold. The PT said it should get slushy, we have had some that freeze solid and some that seem to just get really cold but stay a liquid. I don't know that it matters all that much, but the one that was frozen solid wasn't as good for my wife as it didn't conform to her body, so aim for the liquid version (which i why we went with 80% alcohol and 20% water). Then after sex she just puts a paper towel around the condom so it isn't direct cold on her girl parts. She then parts her lips and just rests it there and puts her legs back together. Picture a witch riding a broomstick, it should just be like straddling a pole, not inserting a dildo. Then the next morning just toss out the paper towel and refreeze.

Hope it helps

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Becca said...

I am definitely going to have to try the coconut oil. Also in response to "Husband" that ice thing sounds very interesting! I'll have to keep that in mind for when my husband and I start making it to penetration. Anything that could possibly help or make my vagina feel better sounds fabulous to me!