Um, not really. It looks like chocolate. And that's where the similarities end. Whoever decided that carob is a substitute for chocolate has obviously not had chocolate in a long time. As I wrote before, I have been trying the Bladder Friendly Diet to see if it helps with my burning. Chocolate is a no-no in this diet so I bought some carob chips and made oatmeal carob chip cookies to try and get my chocolate fix. Not so much. It's hard to describe what carob tastes like - kind of fruity I think; not chocolaty at all. And another thing - it doesn't melt. I baked the cookies in a 350 degree oven and the carob did not melt. It was disappointing.
The good news (or is it?) is that it seems that the Bladder Friendly Diet really had no effect on me one way or the other. I thought it was working, but then I had all this burning and itching while I was still strictly following the diet. It's good news because I cannot live without chocolate, tomatoes and vinegar. But it would have been nice to pinpoint a specific trigger for the burning. Oh well. It's still a mystery.
In other news I've been pretty down lately. I just feel like my life is stagnant. There is no moving forward. My best friends live far away from me so we usually talk on the phone to keep each other updated on our lives. I've been avoiding calling them because I have nothing to say. Or at least, nothing good to say. And I know they are my friends and they love me and they want to be supportive, but really, who wants to hear my pity party? I don't. Who wants to hear about how I still can't have sex and I still have no desire and my vagina is still burning and it's still all a mystery? They're all getting pregnant and decorating their houses and living normal lives. I don't want to talk to anybody because I don't want to have to answer the question: How are you? What have you been up to lately? How's life? Answers: depressed. nothing. stagnant. Lately whenever I talk to people I do everything I can to steer the conversation towards them. Nothing new over here. Nothing's changed.