Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Anxiety medicine?

We also went to the psychologist last night. Lately we've been talking about how much anxiety I feel surrounding this whole ordeal. I get so upset that it's hard for me to talk and I just break down into a crying mess. The best way to explain it is a feeling of pressure. When I get really upset, I feel like there's all this pressure in my body - my chest, my throat, my head. It just feels like there's something pushing me from the inside out and it just wants to burst. Apparently this is called anxiety.

I was resistant at first when anxiety medicine was mentioned. I don't like the idea of taking a drug that alters my mind; that is scary to me. I also worry about what kind of side effects the drug might have, and wouldn't it be the worst thing ever if this drug had some kind of side effect that made the whole vagina problem worse? But my therapist convinced me that we would talk to the vaginal pain specialist about it before doing anything so that he can make sure to prescribe a drug that does not have those specific side effects. She also talked to me about the fact that it might just help me be able to get through this better. I mean it would be nice not to feel like I'm going to explode from the inside out every time someone tries to talk to me about this problem.

It would be nice to feel a little less worried all the time about what if I never get fixed? What if I can't have children? What if my husband is stuck with me forever because he loves me so he wouldn't leave me, but he'd live a life that is sexually and intimately unfulfilled? It would be nice to feel a little less of all of that. It's a lot for one person to worry about all the time.

So anyway, if the doctor agrees, I am willing to try the anti-anxiety medicine. I'll let you know how it goes.

1 comment:

K said...

My doctor prescribed me Valium, which is a muscle relaxer & antianxiety. It's supposed to address the vaginismus & my general anxiety at the same time. Most of the time I manage stress & anxiety okay on my own but sometimes it's just too much for me.

I'll tell you though, it's not working well as a long-term thing, it's only good for me once in awhile. It calms me down but it makes me sleepy too. I don't use it often.

It doesn't make the vulvar pain any worse. If anything it probably makes it better since it relaxes the muscles but if I take valium I'm usually too sleepy to have sex anyway.

But if you have acute anxiety like I do then it's okay to manage that from time to time.